Monday, April 27, 2009

Yes, I have come back from my very much needed one week break. There are too many stories to tell, so I’ll let the pics (Facebook, Friendster) summarise everything for me. But there were two close-to-death incidents which I’ll briefly talk about.

On the way to Sinai, there was a sandstorm. Now it wasn’t just any average sandstorm – visibility was reduced to probably a maximum of two metres, with no street lamps of any sort (kedekut betul kerajaan Mesir!) and we couldn’t see cars from the opposite direction until they were almost right next to us (seb baik next to us and not in front of us!). There were times when I wanted to ask Kadir to just stop the Avanza by the side of the road and wait for the storm to dissipate. But then that would be too dangerous as the cars behind us wouldn’t be able to see us until they were really close, so they would probably drive straight into us. Sarah kept thinking about how her mum would be tossing and turning in her sleep, and true enough, her mum texted to check if she was safe. I kept thinking that if I die, I’ll die with Kadir, and Fatimah would die with her mum, but I felt sorry for everyone else in the car who didn’t have family with them in their last moments. Everyone stayed awake during the storm, though some pretended to sleep so that they wouldn’t have to see how scary it was, and everyone was saying their prayers as if it would be their last.

Suez: The sandstorm as it was just beginning.

The second was obviously climbing up Mount Sinai a.k.a. Jabal Musa. That was the worst episode of breathlessness and chest constriction I have ever felt. There were many times when I could hear myself wheezing, and there were many times that I felt I should just give up. In the end, I’m not sure if all the pain was worth it, but oh well, I reached the summit anyway and managed to get back down despite aching heels and trembling knees.

Told ya I almost died climbing the 2,285m mountain!

Apart from those two not-so-nice things, we all had a wonderful time in Egypt, especially when you’re there with fun people and have a really cool driver, tourist guide, mountain guide, translator, photographer, penjaga beg, ... And meeting some very nice people and of course the superb array of food available!


And now what’s left is waiting for the OSCE results to come out (another close encounter with death perhaps?), applying for electives, writing up my 5000 word SSC (ICU consultants/anaesthetists are so cool!), doing 11 weeks of research and a 10k word write-up, crappy reflective pieces for portfolio, reading journals and various papers, finishing a book, revising for Progress Test in 3 weeks, starting revision for the real thing (the final of all finals!) in January and if time permits, posting some previous ramblings here. Too much reading and writing to do - I’m sure that’s enough to keep me occupied before summer holidays (which is a loooong 13 weeks to go!).

Oh, and good luck to Munzir and friends for your finals! As much as I hate you kids for graduating before me, I’m kind enough to pray for your success. Allahumma yassir!

Friday, April 10, 2009

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

... with my darn expensive love child, Kayla! But oh well, bak kata Kak Ning, you need to have a good camera to take on holidays. Kalau tak, sia2 je pergi jauh2 habis duit banyak2 tapi bila balik, tengok gambar2 semua crap.

Marilah pergi jauh2 dari sini untuk melupakan the pain that was the OSCEs. Paediatrics was a complete disaster, so I now have to consider a change in my career options because I now hate kids. And I also hate pregnant women because I couldn't feel her baby's back which ruined the station for me.



Venice of the North, here we come!

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

With the Paediatrics and Obs & Gynae OSCEs just days away, I see a mid-life crisis brimming over the edge. You start getting menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, sweats and mood swings. And you start panicking about very relevant and currently irrelevant things like...

- OMG! How did I learn the whole of adult medicine shrunk for kids plus communication with parents and all other issues regarding kids like child abuse, development and learning difficulties in 6 weeks and are now expected to deal with them in exams???

- OMG! Why did I choose a university in which we have to come up with our own learning objectives, go home, look it up in some books and the internet and voila, that's the majority of our medical education! I might as well not have gone to uni and just bought some medical books if I wanted to learn medicine on my own! At least I would have saved the government some money which they might have used for the people.

- OMG! I just finished my last proper placement for clinicals and am practically supposed to know (almost) everything there is to know before I qualify as a doctor. But I don't, so I'm not safe enough to be one, but then the finals are in less than 9 months and then I'll graduate if I pass, and then how am I supposed to go home and work when I don't know enough???

- OMG! Banyaknya isu public health and health education nak kena address bila balik Malaysia. OMG! Banyaknya corrupt people working in the healthcare system! OMG! Camana nak balik kerja kat Malaysia tanpa rasa tension/give up hari2???

Exams in medical school are very depressing and demanding. When we were in school, study skit2 then boleh target A1 or A2. Masuk KMB, most of the time it was between a 6 or 7 (except Maths obviously), and still banyak masa untuk ada social life (lepak2 kat Alamanda, Midvalley, KLIA) and skodeng budak laki main bola hari2. But masuk je medical school, you have to work so so damn hard just to get a low pass! Rasa macam makin besar, makin bodoh. And bila fikir you're doing all this just to go back to Malaysia where life is even more difficult for junior doctors makes you wanna hang yourself. Life isn't fair!

But then, as Sorin my Obs & Gynae registrar (yang dulu main bola untuk Romania's under 18s) says, "So what if you fail the exams, at least you're much better off than people dying of cancer."

Oh dear me... What other choice do I have than to study hard and manipulate everyone/everything within reach for my advantage.